


The Heir of Temptation

by Cirrocumulusfloccus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Creature Fic, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Incubus John, Kinda, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Panic Attacks, Pining, Playing fast and loose with mythology, Prom, Sex Magic, Sex Pollen, Siren dave, Siren striders, The mildly dubious part is a makeout session
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:29:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirrocumulusfloccus/pseuds/Cirrocumulusfloccus
Summary: In which John Egbert was adopted as a baby by a wonderful doting father. If only they had known John wasn't human then so many things would make a lot more sense.Or John is an incubus and has no idea. Dave is head over heels in love with his best friend and is also not human.Bro might be the only person who knows what's going on here but he's only here for the front row seat supernatural teen romance drama.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider
Comments: 33
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pterodactyl screeching.  
> this is the longest thing ive ever written and this is basically just establishing the groundwork. Feeling excited and overwhelmed lol :)
> 
> Giant thanks to @pearlybj for being a huge help working out ideas!
> 
> Please forgive my comma use, I read over everything but it's un beta'd.  
> I have a chunk of the next chapter already written! Hope someone likes it!  
> Now with improved grammar!

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are 5 years old! You are basically super grown up now, you're in kindergarten and everything! You are currently sitting in the time out chair because some kid said your eyes were weird and you punched him. He was being really mean and you tried to tell your teacher Mr. Nitram that but he said hitting is bad. You are a little worried that your dad won't be proud of you anymore. 

When you get picked up by your dad, he does give you a stern look and say not to use your fist but your words. But he will always be proud of you! He sits you down and tells you that sometimes people can be mean when other people are different than them. But you should always treat other people with respect. Your dad also tells you that even though you were adopted and look different from him he loves you more than anything in the world! He gives you a big hug and you feel a lot better. You feel pretty proud of being part of a grown-up talk like that. Even better your dad even got you an ice cream on the way to your piano lesson! 

\- 

You are 7 years old and in grade 2! You also just met this new kid at your school who talks funny. He wears really dumb shades that are all pointy but you don't say anything because you don't want to be a big meanie. You see him sitting by himself at recess. You don't want him to be lonely so you walk over and sit down next to him. 

"Hi! I'm John. You want to be friends?" The new guy frowns at you and doesn't say anything. You offer him a cinnamon bun from your ghost busters lunch box. Ghostbusters is the best! 

He stares at you from behind his shades and after a moment takes your cinnamon bun and grunts a small thanks. You scoot a bit closer to him.   
"what's your name?" You ask. 

"… Dave" He chews on the bun quietly. 

Unconcerned you rustle around in your lunchbox again and pull out some gushers. You throw them up in the air and catch it with your mouth. 

"You got weird eyes." Dave says after a while. 

Your gusher bounces off your glasses and falls on the ground.   
"…"   
You're not gonna cry. You're 7 years old, your too big to cry about stupid kids being mean about your eyes. You sniffle and scrub at your face.   
"My dad says they make me look handsome." You grit out. Your ultramarine blue eyes are glittering even more than normal from unshed tears. Almost glowing in the spring sunlight. 

"Its ok we match." Dave says quietly and lowers his dumb pointy shades.   
A loud gasp escapes you as bright scarlet eyes blink at you. 

"Not so loud dumbass." Dave grumps at you as he pushes his shades back on his face. 

"Your shades are dumb." You pout but you're not actually mad, he is like you! 

"Did you get it from your mum or your dad?" Dave asks, safely behind his glasses again. 

"Get what?"   
"You know…" Dave makes a vague gesture with his hand. "like your eyes and stuff." 

"Oh." You think a second. "I don't have a mom and my dad's eyes are brown." you say simply. 

"Oh…" Dave stares at his feet looking uncomfortable. 

You throw a gusher at Dave. He is still as a statue so you wrap your arms around Dave and give him a hug. He tenses up all rigid like your neighbor's cat when it sees a dog. You giggle a bit at the thought and pat his head like you do to the cat. He relaxes in your arms and slowly, almost like he didn't know how, hugs you back. 

You feel really happy! You made a new friend and you feel like you could run a mile. You're gonna be bestest friends, you know it! 

\- 

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are 11 years old. You are definitely not running across the playground to meet up with John for lunch time. It's a cool stroll at a chill pace. You're like a middle aged house wife who is power walking. Hold my latte Karen, little Timmy needs his fuckin inhaler. You are stopped just past the swing set by some chick in pigtails. 

"Hi Dave!" she giggles. 

You give her a curt nod. "Sup." 

You wait impatiently as pigtail girl is overcome with some more giggles. They always get all twitter pated after music class with you. You fuckin told Bro to give you a note to get out of music time. For any excuse to get out of the freaking embarrassment of everyone tripping over their dicks to listen to your melodious goddamn singing voice. You're in middle school, you don't have your allure on lock yet, and Bro is a shit brained sadist that pops pedo boners over embarrassing you. 

Pigtails seems to get a hold of herself. "I'm having a party this weekend. Would you ask John if he wanted to come, pretty please." She batts her eyelashes at you. 

Well shit on a flaming jalapeno, she wants you to play match maker for her. 

"You are of course welcome too." She adds quickly. Like she's afraid of hurting your delicate fefes. 

Your feeling fucking peachy. People just gotta step off your John. He gets upset trying to let people down easy "cause he's to fuckin friendly and full of sunshine to just flat out reject them. So you step up to bat for him. The asshole has even less control over his allure than you do! 

"John and I are busy." You say and quickly sidestep her. 

"You can think about it!" She calls after you. 

"keep dreaming." You mutter under your breath. You're not bitter, and it certainly doesn't have anything to do with you being madly in love with your BFF. Not even a little bit. 

"Dave! What took you so long?" John waves at you from your lunch hour hiding spot. 

You shrug. "You know fighting the ladies off with a stick everywhere I go gets time consuming." You drop down to sit beside John. He unconsciously shuffles flush against your side. You'd think he was starving if you didn't know he just is that much of a puppy dog for affection. 

John rolls his eyes at you, but he's laughing. 

"If anyone asks, we have plans on the weekend." You say, aiming for casual but probably hitting closer to disgruntled and mildly constipated. He makes you lose your cool just by breathing. How is that even fair? 

"Oh! I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to go to my piano recital this weekend!" He gives you the patented big sunny smile. 

Christ on canapé, would you love to go with him. Watching your oldest, best and only friend, dancing his elegant fingers across a Steinway grand. It's enough to make your kokoro explode… which is why you can't go. Last time you went your emotions bubbled up so hard you gave yourself a stomach ache for 3 days. Bro pissed himself laughing as you camped on the couch rolling in agony. The fuckin ass dandruff retrograde. 

"Shit man. I don't thing I can stomach your mad piano fervor. Your too intense bro." 

"What do you mean numbnuts? You talking about my “sick piano flair" again. I'm not that bad at piano" John says. 

"Believe me dude, I know you got the goods." You flop down on your back with a huff, missing the look of bewilderment on Johns slender face. 

"You're such a weirdo sometimes." John huffs and shoves a bottle of apple juice at you. 

\- 

You are JOHN EGBERT and you are15 years old. It just so happens that tomorrow is your birthday. You are currently hiding in your room to try and escape the sweet miasma wafting through the house as your dad bakes his third batch of cupcakes. You told your dad that you're not having a party and you don't want cake, but of course, he refuses to listen. 

You asked your dad to have your birthday supper early so you could go to Dave's house after school tomorrow and spend the night there. It will mean hanging with your best friend and less cake being shoved down your throat! It's win win. 

Dad still bakes 5 dozen cupcakes and dumps them off at Dave's house on his way to work. At least you managed to convince him that bringing the cupcakes to school would cause you do die of social humiliation. 

\- 

"I can't even imagine what you would look like if you had a human metabolism, your such a gangly string bean despite all the shit your dad shoves down your throat." Dave says with a mouth full of cupcake. There is some blue frosting on his nose. 

"This shit is like crack, and I am the poor college dropout who had such a bright future but if a fit of teenaged angst said sure john ill have a cinnamon roll. Next thing you know I stole my mom's purse and sold the TV jonesing for that one last sweet sweet hit to scratch that fuckin sugar itch. But is it ever the last one John? No! I am your cupcake whore John, reduced to begging sweet ol' Mrs. Crocker, "Please just one cup o" sugar, my daughter has a bake sale tomorrow." But she knows I don't have a daughter. It's just me on the street corner trading blowies for goddamn cake mix!" 

You roll your eyes at Dave and start combing your fingers through his hair. Even his faux tension drains away at your touch. It makes you feel warm and sated, you love having a friend as good as Dave. Even if he is always cracking dumb jokes about your “demonic" eating habits. 

"Ugh, at least he started branching out from pastries to actual food occasionally." You are an eternally skinny waif no matter how much your dad tries to "put some meat on your bones " He picks a new style of cuisine every couple months. Luckily, he is an amazing cook and you do eat like any normal teenaged boy. That is to say anything that looks remotely edible doesn't last more than 15 min in the house. Your dad always waxes poetic about his "growing boy with a hearty appetite." He has a point though, the only people you know that eat like you do are the Striders. 

"Like you and Bro can talk." you say as you lean forward from your spot under Dave's bony chicken legs, to lick the frosting off his dumb face. "The two of you are perpetual garbage disposals of fast food and sugary drinks. I haven't seen anything edible in your cupboards sense you moved here! I have a theory that Strider stomachs are the entrance to a pocket dimension." 

"Not all of us are suburban pampered princess"   
His smirks turns into a grimace at the wet slobber trail you leave across his nose. He swipes his finger across the top of another cupcake and wipes it across your cheek. 

"you're such a catty bitch, you live 15 minutes away from my house." you laugh and wipe your gross sugar slimed cheek against Dave's face. "besides your bro is loaded with all his dirty puppet money." 

Bro chooses that moment to come out of his room to restock on cupcakes. He raises an eyebrow over the line of his shades at the two of you. Twin shrugs is the only reply he gets. Bro snorts grabs a tray and retreats back to his room. 

\- 

You are DIRK STRIDER BRO and you think you want one more cupcake before you go out to get some real food. those cupcakes make you feel like your shootin rainbows outta your asshole. You would like to thank not only Twilight Sparkle but also Puppet Jesus that human food has no bearing on your physique. Being a supernatural entity has some perks to it. 

Your customary source of sustenance is nothing you'd kick outta bed either. You're in the mood for that heady high that comes from a room packed full of people riding on the pure ecstasy only your beats can provide. You don't even need your allure to get them there but it kicks their intensity up that last notch to make for an ambrosial feast. Your feeling decadent tonight. 

You see Dave and his friend pass each other Dave handing John a towel for his shower, Dave the shit, drippin water like a shaggy dog. 

"The way your hangin off that kid he's gonna be 300lbs before you two graduate, don't want him to loose his twink charm now do you? What will you jack off too every night?" You throw a towel at Daves head. 

"The fuck you talkin bout, ya creepy fuck." Dave grumbles from under the towel. He must be flustered to be so pithy. 

"Or you savin it all up for him, a big feast for the both of ya. You need some lube? Condoms? Just ‘cause we don't get human diseases don't mean easy clean up aint nice." 

Dave shifts like he was going to run his hand through his hair but thought better of it. He mumbles something, you can hear it but that aint no fun. Your favorite snack is little bro embarrassment. 

"Little man, I changed your diapers, no need to be embarrassed. It's not the size that counts but how you swing your katana." 

"I don't think he's manifested yet." Dave says a little louder. His ears are turning pink. 

"Aww, our sweet little sex demon is a late bloomer."   
Shit that is actually adorable. Too bad your bro has dibs, or else you would be defiling John faster than a rabbit in heat. Teach him just how transcendental fucking another psi demon can be. As much as he"s a shit head you'll respect your little bros crush. 

You hear the shower water turn off. Fuck that kid had the fastest shower you"ve ever thought physically possible. 

"keep your fuckin voice down skid mark." Dave huffs. 

"Just don't go getting him prego and have some mutant incu-siren children before I get back I'm not ready to be a grandpa." 

"Who is going to be a grandpa?" John asks, moping his hair with a towel. "Never mind lets get some food food. Can we order curry?" 

You raise a questioning eyebrow at Dave, but he's too busy staring slack jawed at the water dripping down Egberts neck. 

"I left some dirty puppet money on the microwave. I'm out, had enough of the dorky dyad. Goin to get some real food." 

You hear John ask if you don't like curry as you shut the door behind you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small update in between bigger stuff :)

You are JOHN EGBERT and you are 18 years old and you are sitting in under a shaded tree playing SSBU with Dave on your lunch break. You only have a month left before you graduate. Both Dave and yourself have already been accepted into a state college arts program, which affords you a very chill last month of high school.  
This is your favourite part of your day just the two of you getting some quiet time. 

You are soo close to getting the smash ball when Danni from your bio honors class comes by and sadly puts an end to your bro time. 

“Hi John!” Danni says 

“Hey Danni!” you say as you pause your game. It’s not her fault you’re a bad bro. 

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to prom with me?” she asks with confidence. You notice her cheeks pink a little. It is cute, like bunnies are cute. you don’t feel attracted to her. 

“Aw, sorry Danni” you say as you rub the back of your neck. “I am already going with someone.” 

You give her a smile to let her know you mean no hard feelings. Wgeb she nods and leaves you un-pause the game again. 

“I saw that you got mobbed after physics this morning.” Dave says from behind his Switch. 

“Oh yeah, you saw that huh?” You shift in your spot. He sounds grumpy, but you have no idea why. You rack your brain for something, you haven't gotten him with any pranks lately, his birthday is in December, you are currently losing at SSBU. Dave does not get angry often, not really, especially not at you. He normally is almost endlessly patient with you and your shit. You feel like you just got sucker punched in the gut instead of King Dedede. Butterflies are forming in your stomach made of fluttering ice. Yep there goes your last stock. You put your switch down and look over at Dave, but he is staring intently at his screen. 

“You had quite the following in the hallway yourself.” You say. It’s hard to keep your grumpiness out of your voice but you don’t think you did too badly. Dave always talks shit about your popularity but he is just as well liked. Maybe you’re a bad best bro but you kind of want to keep Dave to yourself. 

“Fuck, is it Jake, then?” Dave asks. His words clipped and harsh. 

“Is Jake what? I have no idea what you're talking about, Dave.” You are getting really frustrated. You would love for Dave not to play his word games today. 

“Who’s the shithead your parading on a leash to prom?” 

“Who shit in your cereal, dude?” 

“You told her you had a fuckin' date. Who the fuck is it?” 

"Aren’t we going together? We always joked about it, I always just figured we would." Oh Shit.  
"Fuck, if you got a date, I can go find Danni and say I changed my mind.” Damn it your so stupid. Of course, Dave has a date. He is popular and good looking; He is also super talented in everything he does. You always feel shitty when you turn people down for dates and stuff, you have never been on the other end before, shit getting turned down for a bro date... really sucks.

Dave lets out a long breath. His shoulders slump and he collapses against you. 

"Fuck Egbert, when were you gonna actually ask me? How's a girl to know to get a dress and order a corsage and shit if you don't give me my promposal?" he shoves you and digs his elbow into your ribs. Your ice butterflies start to thaw, leaving you feeling like the first spring day after the last frost. You shiver a bit and slump against him in return. He is right, god you can be such a dumbass. you didn’t ever mention it to Dave. it was always just a given in your mind. 

"Well shit Dave I didn't I didn't know I was dealing with such a diva. Maybe I should find a less high maintenance date." You shove him back but you have a big smile on your face. 

"What you talkin’ bout?" Dave drawls, laying his southern twang on thick. "I am the hottest slice of ass, you're not gonna find better.” 

“Shut up Dave” you pick up your switch again “Rematch, but no more Isabel, you’re a frigging cheater.” A smile spreads across your face.  
If Dave wants a promposal, he’s going to get a promposal.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taking so long! I'm an essential worker and I'm Tired lol  
> Plus I had about 2 blocks trying to write this.  
> :) hope you enjoy!

Oh god, you're kind of nervous. You never get nervous over pranks, there is a basic flow of each prank. Setup, chaos, hilarity, maybe you get in a bit of trouble. Why are you so nervous? You're not afraid of getting in trouble, most of the time teachers are also laughing when your shit happens. You also have a knack for being able to sweet talk yourself down from the worst punishments. You’re a hard working student and polite, your dad raised you well. You and the janitor are on a chummy first name basis. He appreciates a good joke, and you always help clean up your messier schemes.

You are dressed in a smart button down, tucked into some nice black jeans. Dave is going to meet you in the school atrium that is in the center of a fishbowl style center of the two floors of your school. You grip a bouquet of roses in your hands, notice they are a little sweaty and wipe them on your pants. You check your watch and note the lunch bell rang about 5 min ago, the atrium is already pretty full of students, all according to plan for maximum impact. Leave it to Dave to dawdle when your getting performance jitters. You glance up at the second floor, at your co-conspirator, Jane your cousin who is always game for lending a hand for pranks. She nods at you, signaling the target has been located and all systems are go.  
You look up and make eye contact with some aviators. Your heart beats faster and the dulcet tones of Steven Tyler starts up from your mobile speaker. You pick this song because you Dave would love the irony, even if you are a lot more sincere in your appreciation of this song. Its romantic and anyone who says otherwise can kiss your ass. You tear up every time you watch Armageddon, you cant help it.

Dave is smirking now, he knows something’s up and is waiting for the shoe to drop. So you bend down on one knee and flourish your hand with the bouquet towards Dave. “David Strider, you have been my Best Bro for the better part of my life, your friendship means the world to me. I would be delighted if you would grant me the honor of being your date to prom.” The atrium is silent aside from Aerosmith plugging away from your phone. All eyes are on you and Dave, waiting on tenterhooks.  
Dave accepts the flowers and studies them, putting on a show of intense consideration. His brow furrowed and fingers the petals of the roses. You catch your self holding your breath which is ridiculous, as you know Dave is already going with you. 

Milking the tension, Dave briefly gives you a soft smile before solemnly holds out his hand, which you take in yours. “Johnathaniel Egbert, it would tickle me pink to go to prom with you.” Dave faux gushes.  
You pull his hand towards you, and plant a gentlemanly kiss on his hand, when the atrium is enveloped in a shower of flower petals. Mission accomplished. This is hella romantic, oh jeez maybe you over did it. Your heart is hammering in your chest, you stand up and look at Dave, all covered in roses. He is smirking at you so you breath out a sigh of relief.  
You look up to the top of the fish bowl and shoot Jane a thumbs up. She gives you a salute, leans over the guard rail and shouts “Kiss him, you fool!" she cheshire grins down at you. 

Your face instantly turns a bright tomato red. Damn, you are so going to get her for this. You can feel the gaze of the atrium bearing down on you.  
You audibly gulp as you turn back to Dave, who somehow looks cool as a cucumber. How can he do that right now? Your brain blue screened, even your ears feel flush. You know you have to react but you seem to have lost control of your motor functions. Dave must sense your panic, still holding your hand, he tips you like an old fashioned starlet and plants a kiss square on your lips.

Your mind is so blank you don’t hear the cheers and laughter of everyone in the cafeteria, you don’t hear Dave asking you if your ok.

Did Dave really just kiss you? For real? You don’t realize that you placate Dave that “of course your fine, you’re a prank master. You just need to go get a broom, cleanup and all. But you’ll meet him after school.”  
You unconsciously touch your lips, they still feel warm and tingly. Was Dave wearing lip chap? Your best bro just kissed you… and you kind of maybe liked it…  
That was your first kiss too. Oh my god.

So you might be a little in love with your best friend. No big deal… ok maybe that is a significant amount of a deal. But you can handle this! It’s only prom, with your BFF as your date. Who kissed you last week as part of a prank and you came to the cliché realization that you like-like him. Your totally handling this. Probably.

You see Dave walking across the suburban cul-de-sac, in his prom finery. You are a little relieved he didn’t actually get a dress, not that he doesn't have the legs for one, no matter what Dave says there is such a thing as going overboard with irony. He is in a nice black suit, and charcoal grey dress shirt. You notice he sprung for getting a lovely, understated manicure. The blue trim on his nails matching nicely with your tie. The same blue of your eyes, your Dad had insisted it made you look smart. You think about your own grubby nails and self-consciously shove your hands in your pockets.

“You look nice.” You say to Dave. Shit are you already hitting on him? God damn it you have got to calm the fuck down, you chide yourself. You’re feeling flushed? Are you getting a fever? You have been feeling pretty off lately. A lot more hungry to your dads delight. You hope Dave and Dad don’t notice, what if they make you stay home? You’re really looking forward to being Dave’s date, even just as best friends.  
“Hey John, you doin’ ok?” the concern evident in Dave’s voice.  
Shit is he on to you already?  
“Nah, I’m totally fine.” You say as the world turns fuzzy and you pass out.

-

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and your best friend and prom date just passed out on you. You are hot stuff, but damn. Crouching down you pick John up bridal style, and carry him back towards his house.  
“Hey Mr. E, can you get the door for me" you call out, knocking on the door with your foot.

“David, I was just on my way …” Mr. Egbert opens the door and looks at you holding his unconscious son with a rising look of dismay, an old film camera dangling from a strap around his neck.

You carry John up the stairs with Dadbert on your heels.  
“I think he probably just got too excited and caught himself a cold.” You reassure him. 

“He has been a little quite than usual.” Dadbert agrees. He opens the door to John’s room and you lower him down to his bed. It takes a lot of self control to resist placing a kiss to the top of John’s head as you back away. Mr. E don’t want you mackin’ on his boy while he’s unconscious dipshit. Don’t matter john could probably use the extra energy right now. Shits impolite, bro raised you better n' that. No he fuckin' didn’t, but by some miracle you managed to learn some goddamn manners anyway.

“… well I guess I’ll head home then…” way to be smooth Dave, always makin' the best impression to your main man’s father unit. “… I uh, … when he wakes up?...” you rub the back of your neck in your smoothness.  
“I’ll let you know how he is doing David" Mr. E says gently. 

Aww shit he’s a good dude. John comes by it honestly, apples falling out of trees and that shit. You give Dadbert a salute and turn to leave. He gives a gentlemanly chuckle and walks you to the door.  
“I am sorry your evening of youthful tomfoolery was cut short. I know John was looking forward to it.” Dadbert waves you good bye at the door and you book it home.

-

“Did your Prince charming turn into a pumpkin? It ain’t anywhere close to midnight?” You aren't really in the mood to deal with Bro right now.

“He passed out when he saw how drop dead sexy his date is. I’ll let john know you were concerned, dick head.” You drawl back as you kick off your dress shoes.  
“Oh so he is a vegetable? He’s probably the worst sex demon I’ve ever seen.”  
“Don’t be a prick. Who goes to senior prom anyway?” you are not in the mood for Bros shit. You want to go to bed and not worry about John all night.

Bro raises an eye brow and pointedly looks at your sick ass manicure you had spent all day makin' look fly as fuck. You flip him the bird as your reply. The French tip glitters in the glow of the TV screen. Fuck yeah, you are a goddamned artiste. Bro is just jelly of your superior fuckin' manicure skillz.

“Does this mean he’s finally awakened”  
Oh shit probably? How did you not think of that.  
“Why you so interested in john waking anyway, you’re bein’ a fuckin’ creepy old man.”

“With you bein’ a blushin’ virgin, hand wringing over a crush, there is only so far the bro code can take you little man. Anyone would want a slice of incubus’ first lay, I sure as fuck do.” 

You really wish you could come up with something witty to say but goddamn Bro knows how to cut you.

“Keep draggin’ your feet and I might just find myself with a little boy toy. Would be worth it to stop DJ n' for some of that nasty demon fuckin’ feast.”

Your Jimmy’s having been thoroughly rustled, Bro turns back the TV. You make a quick exit to your room. Fuckin' Bro. You n’ John are moving out to the uni dorms in under a month, Bro can’t be serious. He’s an asshole but not that much of an asshole. You hope anyway… Fuck.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything could be solved if people just talked to each other, but feelings are hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case its not your jam, there is a small bit of Bro/John at the end of this chapter, nothing too spicy but if that's not your thing you can skip it.  
> I need it to happen for plot reason. :3 these boys are dumb and they need a fire lit under their ass to accomplish anything. I love them dearly :)  
> Little bit of angst this chapter but things are lookin up soon, promise!  
> Sorry this took so long. I had a bunch of trouble getting from one scene to the other. On the plus side it is about double the length of the other chapter. I am over ambitious for my first chaptered fic.  
> again unbeta'd.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you feel like your dying. You must have gotten the world's worst flu and you feel awful. You passed out on Dave on your way to your date prom. He tried to assure you that he was totally cool with missing “the microcosm of outdated rituals, stress, drama and the shittiest music known to all earkind.” He was perfectly content to chill at home and pester his BFF over text message. You’re n love with such a dweeb. God damn you had wanted to go on a not date with Dave. Your Dad has been mother Henning you so hard you would be willing to fake your own death for some peace and quiet. 

You cannot even remember the last time you were sick. you are feverish and clammy your whole body aches, and you are the most hungry you have ever been in your life. Hungry as you are it is a battle to try and keep any food down right now. Your house smells like a Campbell’s factory, your Dad has made so much soup and the smell is not helping your nausea. 

You are trying very hard to at least make it seem like your feeling better though, your Dad keeps dropping hints that maybe you should take a gap year to rest before leaving for college. But that is absolutely unacceptable. You may have deliriously shouted at your dad that you would move out on a hospital bed if you needed to. 

You were a little embarrassed about that outburst and apologized. your dad gave you a non condescending but still stern talk about maintaining your health, but in the end said he was proud of you as usual and you hugged it out. 

You are actually feeling a little bit better after that. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  ectoBiologist [EB]

TG: yo jbert you need me to call the coroner yet 

TG: im too young to be a widow my dude 

TG: it will look bad to my future prospects 

TG: widowed before even officially married i aint got time to return the wedding gifts 

TG: that gravy boat looks perfect in the china cabinet Susan you cant have it back 

TG: but really you ok? 

TG: we can skip movie night this week 

TG: it can be fuckin rough as an alligators asshole comin out the other side of that shit. Fuck man I spent 3 days locked up in my room till bro dragged me out to keep me from starving to death. 

TG: but that first taste afterward is better n ice cold AJ after you spent the afternoon givin your dorsal and palmer ligaments a workout if ya feel me B;) 

EB: … you are really weird sometimes Dave… 

EB: anyway I wont let you skip movie night on me:( 

EB: Dad is just over reacting you know how he can get 

TG: is mr e gonna be ok with me comin over then? 

TG: i can climb ur window n shit but you know he always catches us 

EB: yeah, but you know he wont kick you out! 

EB: Just hurry up and get your ass over here. 

ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

Turns out movie night bro time is just what you needed to feel better. You and Dave are all cuddled up together on your bed as you watch National Treasure: Book of Secrets together. You are not above using the sick card to your full advantage when it comes to movie selection. 

“Just because you take the 2 out of the title doesn’t make it a better movie" Dave complains. “Next thing you’ll be comin' round with National Treasure : Electric boogaloo, National Treasure: 2 Declarations 2 Furious, Nic finds out there is a second declaration with a second map and everyone is furiously trying to get their hands on it, via car chases. National Treasure: Golden Receiver, Cage has to unlock the secrets of some shit with the help of a lovable…” 

You certainly won’t dignify that with an answer and dig your elbow into his ribcage to stop him before he can get to deep into that abyss. You mostly use it as an excuse to snuggle in a bit closer to Dave. You are a naturally affectionate person, but now you can’t help worrying you might be a little more cuddly than usual? You might be head over heels, but you also don’t want to creep Dave out. 

You look over to check Dave’s expression when sapphire blue meet ruby red. Shit, oh jeez Dave caught you staring at him. If he wasn’t uncomfortable before he sure as shit us now. You want to face palm so hard right now. Your cheeks are flush. Maybe you can pass it off on being sick? 

Dave reaches an arm around your shoulder and pulls you against him. Your cheeks just spontaneously combusted you swear. 

“Your thinking to much J-man. Don’t make me be the only one to actually watch this streaming garbage fire of cinema.” Dave’s says and ruffles your hair. 

You have to admit though, you would watch the shit out of those movies. 

\-- 

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are officially livin’ with JOHN EGBERT. You’re collapsed on your couch, feet on the coffee table and munching on pizza without a plate because, your house your rules, Fuck yeah. You never ate with a plate living with your Bro in the first place but get off your dick Susan. You managed to convince John to skip the plate too. He's snuggled up beside you usin’ a napkin, but life is about the small victories. Your next step, maybe by the end of the week you can get John to stop fainting when you leave your room in your boxers. That boy is so sheltered sometimes. You two have gone swimming together countless number of times but you show some underoos and he becomes a Victorian debutante coming down with a case of the vapors. It would be flattering if it wasn’t completely adorable instead. You wonder what would happen if you flashed him some nut. 

School started a couple weeks ago and despite John being raised a prim gentleman you couldn’t be happier. You two mesh together so well, your both not morning people but John wakes your sorry ass up before too much of the day is gone. Apparently sleeping past 2pm on weekends is not a respectable time? You get bro snuggles constantly. John’s happy vibes are a daily all you can eat buffet and your dumb monster heart feels fit to burst from love contentment. 

You have even met your second ever friend. Her name is Jade you meet in your obligatory science credit. She is the smartest craziest chic you have ever met. She is taking audio engineering for shits n’ giggles and already has a masters in microbiology and a fancy fuckin' lab job. This is just her idea of relaxing fun times. You are equal parts in awe and intimidated as fuck around her. She is a little older than you n' John and lives with her girlfriend on the other side of town. You also have a sneaking suspicion that she is a werewolf. 

You cant wait to introduce her to John, they’re both such dorks they'll be like two balls from the same sac. 

\- 

You are JOHN EGBERT and you think Dave got himself a girlfriend. You are totally completely so okay with this. Happy for him even. You saw him with a really pretty girl on campus a couple weeks ago and it looked like they were having lunch together. She was tall and had a long tangle of dark hair. She was smiling at Dave like he hung the moon, and you can’t blame her. Dave is great, funny and fit. He has always had tones of suitors lining up after him, but a shitty part of you that you're not proud of was always glad that you were special. The exception. You were his best friend, the only one who Dave chose to spend his time with. Now you have to share Dave and it’s your own fault because you didn’t want to risk your friendship and tell Dave you loved his stupid, beautiful face. 

Dave keeps dropping hints that he wants you to meet someone. Get some coffee or lunch together, but your being a horrible best friend and keep making excuses. Dave deserves happiness more than anyone, but it hurts your heart to see him with someone else in his arms. So instead you are holed up in the library doing homework that isn’t due for at least another month. 

Your stomach rumbles. when was the last time you ate? You should probably get something on the way home, it’s just hard to want to eat with you being so upset. You grab a sandwich from the canteen, exchanging tired nod with the other sleep deprived student running the till. You scarf it down as you walk the twelve blocks to your apartment. You want the quiet time. You crumple the sandwich wrapper and toss it into a bin. You ate but you still feel empty. Maybe you’ll chill in the park a bit, avoid darkening other peoples happiness with your self pity. 

\- 

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are worried as shit about John. You are sitting at a coffee shop with Jade, you been nursing the same shitty iced coffee for the last hour mostly forgotten as you rant out your worries to a very very patient Jade. 

“I have barely seen John at all he last couple weeks, and we fuckin live together Jade! I’m starting to feel like the jilted wife. Where you goin’ honey? Oh the library? Didn’t you spend all yesterday there? Want some company? A snuggle snack? No? Oh ok, I’ll just it her like an asshole while you are clearly upset about something and do nothing. He looks Like week old shit that got eaten by a dog when shit out again. Shitception. I’m goin’ out of my tree with worry about him. Should I call his dad? His mood tastes like if I licked the bottom of your shoe. I haven’t had a happy meal in a week, and the only reason why that sucks is ‘cause john is miserable. So worried I cant even think up a McDonald’s joke about happy meals.” 

Jade bless her patiently waits for you to finish your tirade, she slurps with her straw at the bottom of her crème brulee frapp, before slapping you upside the head. 

“Talk to him you dummy. Sit him down tell him your worried. Be supportive but firm.” 

“He hasn’t been eatin’, Jade.” 

“You know, with everything you have told me about John, he seems the oblivious type. Have you considered that maybe he doesn’t know he’s starving himself?” 

You stare at Jade incredulously. “that is fuckin’ bonkers Jade. You’re a werewolf no one specifically told you, you were one but that didn’t mean you just never ate. He would be one of those free hugger people if that was still a thing.” 

“That’s not very woke of you Strider, I may be a creature but my only diet change is, I like my steak a bit more rare. Really Dave, your being silly. You said john is an affectionate person, maybe he just never noticed.” 

“I donno man, that is just too ridiculous. I just wanna get him talkin’ to me again. Was I bein’ to obvious and scared him off?” 

“Dave you just gotta put on your big boy panties and just talk to him!” 

“Jade I’m flattered your interested in my panties, really, but as much of a smoking slice of Strider meat that I am you know my heart belongs to John. So, I know you will be completely devastated and will go cry into your girlfriend’s arms but I can't have you goin’ around lusting after my knickers “ 

“As disappointed as my girlfriend and I will be at the loss of your knickers, I’m sure we will manage. Speaking of, Rose is here and I am going to go home and maybe I can discuss her panties instead.” Jade winks at you as she gets up from your table. You are ambushed by a big mess of dark hair as Jade tackles you in a big were-hug. “Talk to him, dummy! You can call always call me if you need to!” 

You pat Jade on the head not at all awkwardly, you’re too cool for that. You give the pesky blonde girlfriend a lackluster salute in greeting. Hopefully conveying that you are not in the mood for a conversation. Rose is a psychology major at the other university across town and you feel as up to playing mind games with her, about as much as you are in the mood to dress in a salmon costume and jump in a bear cave. She’ll eat you alive. 

Well, you love Jade but she was a lot less helpful than you were hopin'. 

\- 

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and all you want to do is collapse on the couch and never move ever again. You are exhausted and feel emptier than ever, it's almost like a hunger you can't sate. You fumble the door unlocked and kick off your shoes, but there seems to be a problem with your couch plans. Bro Strider is man spread out across the whole couch. 

“Yo.” 

“Hey Bro, didn’t know you were coming for a visit.” You say, not unkindly. 

“You look like shit.” Bro says, very unkindly. 

“Gee thanks Bro, tell me what you really think.” You’re not exactly onto of the comeback game at the moment. You shove at one of Bros legs to budge over. 

He moves his leg but gets all up in your face as you sit down. He stares you down, silent for a moment, as if giving you a once over. You cant be sure with his dumb anime shades blocking any emotion from sneaking out. 

“When was the last time you had a proper meal? Thought you n’ Dave were on the verge of grafting together, you were so inseparable.” 

“Why is everyone so up my ass about eating? I had a sandwich on the way home.” You grumble. 

Bro is giving you a look again, you can see the math equations going through the air above his head. 

“You shits should have worked this out by now, Jesus Christ.” Bro shoves his shades to the top of his head, and suddenly you are staring into molten amber eyes. Bro has always had a cool, untouchable aura about him, but without his shades you are suddenly uncomfortably aware of how very attractive he is and you want. 

Bro is in his usual polo with the collar popped, and your eyes are stuck admiring how his biceps strain against the sleeves. He is incredibly fit, and you are pretty sure all the blood you were using trying to think is suddenly rushing southwards. 

“Always makin’ ol’ Bro do all the heavy liftin’ ‘round here.” Bro grumbles. 

You arn’t paying attention, your gaze having stalled on his lips while he was griping. You unconsciously bite your bottom lip. 

“God damn, kid that’s one helluva glamour your throwin’.” You are aware that Bro is talking, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be actually registering in your brain? Everything feels really dreamy and floaty. 

“I know ya don’t understand what's happenin’ an’ I sure as fuck won't leave ya hangin, but you gotta reign it kid. The neighbours are gonna start pickin’ up on your vibes an’ we don’t want that. Dave’s gonna be pissed as is.” 

Bro has freckles along the bridge of his nose, just like Dave has. You love freckles, they are incredibly sexy. You want to lick and kick each one of them. Your attractive, Bro is attractive, this could happen. You lean forward until your breath begins to mingle with Bros. He is still mumbling in signature Strider fashion. God that twang and his gravelly voice is going straight to your groin. He hasn’t shoved you away or anything so you decide to shut him up. 

You press your lips against Bro’s. He transitions from his mumbling to returning the kiss with easy confidence. The kiss is deepened and you're not sure who started it but, god it’s good. Bro has stubble and it rasps nicely against your face, a delicious friction. You bite gently on his bottom lip. Bro groans in response, and shifts back against the couch. You follow the kiss down and your dick is pleased to note that you are now laying on top of bro. His clothed bulge slotting against yours pleasantly. With confidence you don’t know the source of, you roll your hips against Bro with a pleased moan. “Fuck Bro.” Your voice is breathy. Bro is biting a column down your neck, oh god. 

“Fuck, John...” 

You are one thousand percent sure that is the first time ever Bro has used your actual name. His hand has grabbed a handful of your ass and kneads it. Of course, he's an ass man, you are completely shocked. Not. You arch your back into his touch and bite down on his collar bone. You worry the skin between your teeth, you want him to have your mark later. Once you are satisfied it will bruise, you lap it once, then move up for another spine-tingling kiss. 

Suddenly Bro tenses up underneath you. 

“What the Fuck?!” 

You feel like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on you. You look up from the couch to the doorway. Your heart plummets to somewhere around your ankles. Dave is in the door way, looking indignant and hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for description of a panic attack in this chapter.
> 
> Hi! sorry its been a million years.  
> between the world being a garbage fire and writing being hard I finally finished the chapter.  
> I yoyo rocket so hard in regards to my writing so thank you for putting up with me!  
> i really need to kick my ass to write more.   
> Only one more chapter to go! Hope you enjoy :)

“What the fuck?” you feel like you just woke up from a dream. Like you had been looking through a foggy window and someone took a squeegee too it. Now everything is sharper, louder, more defined. You jump up from laying on Bro like you had been burned. You just made out with your best friends brother, your best friend you are in love with!! What the fuck is wrong with you? You start feeling dizzy, are you hyperventilating? Oh shit. oh jeez, you need some fresh air. You make a mad dash for the door rushing past Dave. He might have called out to you but your ears are rushing. You feel like you might throw up. 

\- 

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are going to kick your brothers ass. You reach up on your tip toes to the top of the coat closet and feel around. You know you have a sword stashed somewhere. Your fingers feel the distinctive pattern of tsuka ito. Sword in hand you flash step over to your Bro. You extend your katana, blade kissing the skin just beneath his adams apple. If he so much as breaths too deep he will have a lovely new scar. 

Bro hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He arches an eyebrow at you over his shades, his blank face mocking you.. The bastard is probably gonna make you talk. Goddamnit. You want to shove your foot up his asshole, you don’t want a feelings jam. 

He’s just lying on the couch, blank face mocking you. You know what that face means. Your well versed in the art of stoicism. He might as well be shouting “I just had a dry hump with the love of your life ‘cause I’m not a giant bitch.” You growl in the back of your throat and a thin line of red appears on bros neck, not deep enough for the blood to spill, but a clear sign your not fuckin’ around. 

Bro, chill as a fuckin' cucumber reaches down and has the nerve, the sheer fuckin’ insolence to grab his dick and adjust his boner to a more comfortable position. Call the FBI ‘cause there is the sweet, sweet smell of fratricide in the air. He might as well be throwing salt on your wound like goddamn confetti. 

“You just couldn’t keep for nasty hands to yourself could you?” is pouring out of your mouth before you can stop it. You have never been any good at stare downs. 

“he was starvin'.” Bro says. 

“...” Your not sure how to respond to that. You knew he was and you were pullin' your hair out with worry ‘bout him. You were ‘bout to go bald with all the hair pullin’ goin' on. Just why the fuck did it have to be Bro? “Why'd you do it Bro?” Your voice absolutely does not waver. 

“I kept him from goin' feral on your ass.” 

“I don’t know why he wasn’t eatin', but John would never let himself get that far.” 

“He doesn’t know little man. I know you can be slow on the uptake but this is glacial. Go find him dipshit, he’s gonna need a crash course and it sure as fuck not gonna be from me.” 

You blink, trying to reboot your brain; currently blue screened. As much as Bro can be a shit filled eel skin, he never maliciously lies to you. He is a pretty straightforward dude. If John really, actually didn’t know… so much of the last ten plus years of your life suddenly makes so much more sense? He was adopted you always knew that, you just never considered the possibility that he wouldn’t know. That somehow a demon baby could end up abandoned and get taken in by a human. Oh God no wonder he never talked to you about anything, or gave you odd looks when you did. He wasn’t embarrassed he had no fuckin' clue what you were on about. Probably thought it was just another patented Strider Ramble. 

Oh god you are not qualified to give John The Talk. You’re a different species for starters. At least your species are pretty similar. Better than the squat sitting all he knows right now. Teaching John how to feed though, that wouldn’t be a hardship. You are a hands on teacher. You shake your head violently, no you can’t think about pervin’ on John when he is out there flippin’ his shit. 

Yikes. 

You gotta go find him. Shed some heavy fuckin' light on an already steaming fuck load of excrement. 

You are JOHN EGBERT and that sudden clarity from before has diminished to a repeating loop of “what the fuck?”. Your mind distantly registers your feet have carried you to the uni campus on your frantic autopilot. It has gotten pretty dark out but night classes would still be underway. 

Thunk. 

“Ouch.” you say automatically, having just stumbled into one of the stone benches littering campus. Your not sure if it actually hurt or not, the words just came out on reflex. 

“Hello.” 

You look around to see that the bench you tried to walk through is next to a table with a short looking lady, with a blonde Bob. She is looking at you and not at all phased by your attempt to ignore the laws of physics. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just be on my way then.” You say as politely as you can. It comes out more like a jumble of word salad though. 

She gets up as you go to leave and guides you to sit at her table. Her touch is light and comfortingly warm. You slump against the table, your head cradled in a nest of your arms. The gentle touch of the girl rubs a small calming circle on your back. “take a deep breath, in and out, nice and easy.” 

Hearing her words you realize you had been hyperventilating. You listen to her voice and consciously take a shaky deep breath. 

Once your breathing has evened out a bit you notice you’re shaking with adrenaline chills. You sit up and rub your arms a bit. 

“Pleasure to meet you John, I am Rose. Not to worry, you are no bother, I had fortuitously arrived early to pick my paramour up, and could not possibly ignore a person in such obvious need.” Rose is regarding you with a modest smile. Did you say your name? You can’t remember. 

she walks back over to her side of the table and shakes out a beautiful obviously hand knitted throw blanket and wraps it around your shoulders. She sits back down and picks up what appears to be the start of another knitting project. Rose starts clacking quietly with her needles and wool. “If you would like a sympathetic ear, I have plenty of time until night classes let out. I happen to be a 3rd year psychology major at the university across town. You should not be wandering around alone after a panic attack anyway.” 

“A panic attack?” You don’t really want to stay, you’re embarrassed of what a scene you must be making. But you do t have anywhere to go and your body seems to be not listening to your brain anyway. Your butt plants itself firmly at the table. 

“sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions.” She spouts with obvious relish, but not unkindly. 

You know, I don’t even really know why I did it, everything felt really fuzzy, like I was in a dream.” 

“How about you tell me what happened.” Rose flicks her wrist and you swear that she pulls a bottle of water out of thin air, but that’s ridiculous. A trick of the light or something? you are kind of out of it… 

You accept the bottle of water and stare at it a minute. It looks like a normal water bottle 

“I uhh I made out with my best friends older brother. My best friend is my roommate and I’m in love with him. I made out with his brother. What the fuck?” you finish mostly to yourself. 

‘How about you start from the beginning.” Rose says calmly, clicking away with her knitting. 

“My best friend and I are sharing an apartment while we are at uni. I also just so happen to be in love with him, but I don’t want to screw up our broship. He has gotten a girlfriend recently and I’ve been pretty jealous I guess.” You sigh heavily. “to be an even more shit friend I just dry humped his older brother on our couch, and I have no idea why.” Rose has a odd knowing smile, and you thunk your head against the table dejectedly. 

Rose nods, her smile widens. At least your personal drama is amusing someone you guess. You feel very much not comforted. Her bedside manner needs work, you think, uncharitably. 

\- 

You are ROSE LALONDE and you really wonder how boys are still breathing with how silly they are. You make some consolatory murmurs as John berates himself. It was amusing at first but as time went on, listening to Jade tell you about her friend and his problems, you began to See that without your intervention they would keep tumbling further into misunderstanding. Each dancing around their feelings and each other unto catastrophe. 

You think fondly of your girlfriend and feel immense relief that she has much more sense than these two. Jade is exceptionally intelligent but still carries a sense of whimsy that you can’t help but adore. Enough to overlook the multitudes of wolf fur that accumulates on your clothing. Thank the Gods for lint rollers. 

In any case it is beyond time that John be informed of his heritage. You glance at your phone screen clock. David should be pulling his head out of his nonexistent ass and be here soon. You just need to keep John here until then and your assistance will be done. Jade has been looking forward to meeting John, you are merely speeding up the process and ensuring it will be a much happier introduction. You just need to give John one last push. 

“Liminal beings might have more to trouble them but, communication is not below you. Just talk to David, you will undoubtedly find it enlightening. Have a good evening Johnathan.” Having successfully dropped your ambiguous truth bomb you gracefully sweep yourself up and purposefully make your way to the parking lot. right on schedule, class is let out and Jade comes bounding across the courtyard towards you. 

\- 

You are JOHN EGBERT and Rose is basically like all those mysterious old wizards in all fantasy novels who spout ambiguous horse shit and bail. 

“Liminal being" she had called you. What the fuck? She had said David, was she meaning your Dave? You hadn’t said his name, did she know you? Why does it seem like everyone knows more than you. Your head hurts. 

\- 

You are DAVE STRIDER and you spot John across the quad. He is sitting at one of the tables with a knitted blanket around his shoulders, staring off into space. 

You approach at a more subdued pace and like the smooth operator you are and hover awkwardly beside the table. “Hey man, you doing OK?” You wish you were sat at the table so you could head desk yourself. “I mean of course your probably not feelin’ the rightest of rain but we can at least work some stuff out so that the rain isn’t turning left while shouting at the GPS that no matter how many times it tells you to turn a road is not gonna magic itself into existence.” You really wish you could turn off your ramble setting right about now, but just cause you know it's happening doesn't always mean you can make yourself stop. But you do stop as john turns to look at you and he looks in the verge of tears. 

“Dave… I think there is something wrong with me.” His voice wavers quietly. 

Your fingers itch to hug him, but now is probably not the best time. Wait to clear the air first. So you sit on the bench beside John making sure there is room for Jesus, you don’t want to crowd him, but close enough that it hopefully won’t seem like your angry . 

“I am so sorry about what you saw, I honestly have no idea why I did that and I know that is no excuse and I’m so sorry. I just feel like something is very wrong with me and I’m loosing control.” His voice catches and you see him unraveling, tears silently falling down his cheeks. 

Oh man you are so not equipped to deal with stuff like this. Seeing john so lost and scared is like watching that video of the raccoon dissolving his cotton candy and not knowing where it went. Its just fuckin’ tragic. 

“Hey man, so this is like, the biggest understatement of the century, but we seem to have had a misunderstanding.” No turning this into a Strider monolog, shits important. You take a deep breath. 

“You remember when we met , back in grade 2, kids used to bug you about your eyes. And I showed you mine. I asked if you got it from your mom or your dad. You said you didn’t have a mom, and I always just assumed you got it from her. When I found out you were adopted it never even occurred to me that that was a huge sign you didn’t know. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” 

“Dave, what are you talking about?” John looks at you, dazed distress all over. 

“You’re an incubus.” You blurt. Like a band aid. He looks incredulous with a bit of hurt. He probably thinks your joking. “for real. Like a sex demon. They're real so are vampires, werewolves, all kinds of creatures. Sirens. I’m a siren. The creature that sings to sailors to their death, that’s me. And Bro. Only no death, its more like we feed on emotions. For you its physical contact, the more, ahem, ‘intimate’ the more fulfilling it is.” 

John seems to be in shock. Just staring at you quietly. At least he’s not crying. You would do anything for him to never be that sad again. 

“So uhh, we have this thing called allure. For me its mostly in my voice, hence the whole singing myth.” 

“Is that why you never sing for me?” there is a definite pout in his voice. 

You breath out a subdued chuckle. “I didn't want to voice roofie you man. Anyway, for you, you sorta always ooze allure. Now I don’t know for sure cause again, siren.” You point at yourself for emphasis. “But incubus and succubus can choose the level of allure they’re throwing out. Like a volume dial, I guess? I mean you remember how much shit you got away with in high school? I swear anyone else would’ve been expelled, the amount of pranks you pulled. You probably just unconsciously upped your charm to get the teachers to let ya off easy.” 

“I’ve been brainwashing people?!” 

Oh shit. “No! No its not like that! Well, I mean you can, just you never have. You would have to exert a whole lot of power to make someone do something they don’t want to. Without direct intent its like low level suggestion? You have obviously never been aware of it so…” you shrug. John doesn’t look entirely convinced, but this is goin’ way better than you expected. 

“So, is that why I’m always hungry? I’ve never had… you know…” 

“Sex.” You can’t help the smirk. Only John could be a sex demon too embarrassed to say the word. “Well, you know all physical contact is low level nutrition. Underage kids can’t go around bangin’. So you get hugs and snuggle, until you, uhh hit puberty, then you need more food I guess.” Your brief bit of humor gone; you’ve reached the heavy shit. “I know you didn’t know, but you were starvin' yourself.” The words are a lot quieter than you meant. “I’ve been worried sick about you man. Did I do something wrong?” 

“oh, uh.” John starts picking at the pattern on his blanket. A blanket that looks suspiciously like Lalonde's work. But that has to wait. 

“Well you had gotten yourself a girlfriend and I didn’t want to intrude. I’m sorry, Dave. I’ve been a shit friend, I was jealous and I was afraid.” 

Girlfriend? Jealous? What?! 

“I don’t have a girlfriend, you nuts? Where’d you get that idea?” 

“your new ‘friend’ Jade that you wouldn’t shut up about.” 

“Yeah, a friend shithead. Why would you be jealous?” ok you might be a little grumpy about that. 

John sighs. Stares at his blanket for a painfully long moment. Shit. Maybe this isn’t going so good. John finally looks up at you, his eyes are all glassy again, tears gathering. 

“I was jealous because I love you.” He says quietly. The tears falling again. 

“I know I have no right to be jealous or anything, I’m just being dumb, I’m sorry. I won’t hit on you or anything and I can move out if it makes you uncomfortable. I just don’t want you to hate me.” He looks at you with watery apprehension. 

He loves you? John Egbert, lifelong BFF and childhood friend loves you? The same best friend you have been head over heels for years loves you? 

You can’t take it anymore, you stood over and wrap John up in the best hug you can muster. You gently kiss the mop of dark hear on the top of Johns head. “I love you too, you dork.” Your not getting misty eyed. Its just windy out. Yeah okay maybe you’re crying too. 

John wraps his blanket around your shoulder too. The two of you sit huddled together a while longer. 

“come on.” you rub his shoulder standing up. “I’m sure you have a butt load of questions, let’s go home, make some hot chocolate and have a feelings jam.” 

You walk back home together still sharing the blanket.


End file.
